New Year's REVOLUTIONS
This is what I have in store for 2006.
- Invent a peace plan which will totally solve all problems between the Palestinians and those other guys, then keep it to myself and not let anyone read it. Or maybe trade it for Yu-Gi-Oh memorabillia.
- Buy more milk.
- Remove Amendment 5 from the U.S Bill of Rights. It's just one massive, meaningless sentence. It's not necessary.
- Move that coffee mug. It's been there since 2004.
- Spend a good month or so trying to master time travel a little better and stop screwing up quantum timelines.
- Have a shave.
- Throw in the towel with all this stem cell research stuff. I'll leave it to the experts.
(note to self: Urgent - Secure the lab better in future, and find that half-baby-half-cockroach thing before THE GOVERNMENT DOES.)
- Stop taking my guitar to the toilet with me.
- Wash the car.
- Finish writing the prequel to Paradise Lost and send it to Random House.
- Actually, send all my writing to random houses in and around London. May increase my chances of getting published.
- Save up, get driving lessons, learn to drive, buy a car, get some insurance. Wash this car.
- Reply with 'would you like fries with that?' to every question anyone asks me in 2006.
- Reduce the amount of pseudo-rock bands who think it's cool to wear shirts and ties while performing.
- Drive over to the Norton Software headquarters and tell them no, no I do not want to renew your crappy antivirus software SO PLEASE STOP ASKING EVERY THREE SECONDS.
- Reduce the amount of bands that are The Darkness by one.
- See the doctor about having this kebab skewer removed from my spleen at some point.
- Invent a peace plan which will totally solve all problems between the Palestinians and those other guys, then keep it to myself and not let anyone read it. Or maybe trade it for Yu-Gi-Oh memorabillia.
- Buy more milk.
- Remove Amendment 5 from the U.S Bill of Rights. It's just one massive, meaningless sentence. It's not necessary.
- Move that coffee mug. It's been there since 2004.
- Spend a good month or so trying to master time travel a little better and stop screwing up quantum timelines.
- Have a shave.
- Throw in the towel with all this stem cell research stuff. I'll leave it to the experts.
(note to self: Urgent - Secure the lab better in future, and find that half-baby-half-cockroach thing before THE GOVERNMENT DOES.)
- Stop taking my guitar to the toilet with me.
- Wash the car.
- Finish writing the prequel to Paradise Lost and send it to Random House.
- Actually, send all my writing to random houses in and around London. May increase my chances of getting published.
- Save up, get driving lessons, learn to drive, buy a car, get some insurance. Wash this car.
- Reply with 'would you like fries with that?' to every question anyone asks me in 2006.
- Reduce the amount of pseudo-rock bands who think it's cool to wear shirts and ties while performing.
- Drive over to the Norton Software headquarters and tell them no, no I do not want to renew your crappy antivirus software SO PLEASE STOP ASKING EVERY THREE SECONDS.
- Reduce the amount of bands that are The Darkness by one.
- See the doctor about having this kebab skewer removed from my spleen at some point.
posted by Titty Biscuits at 1:47 PM
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